It has been a little more than a year since I fell ill, and stopped writing weekly. For a fact I have not written a word since early 2010. Personally it was the time for me to recoup and start life again, and professionally time to restart a career. It has been the most revealing time of my life as there is a lot of time to think of what is happening around you while you wait to get better and feel normal, both of which are the most excruciating facts of life.
All my life I have been quite busy with doing something or the other and in each phase of life have had the good fortune of being together with wonderful people from around the world, and some of these folks still are together in my reengineering my life and work. When the break came in February 2010, and when I was indisposed much has happened while I was still at the hospital, and since I came out of it. Strangely enough I don't remember much of what transpired in the hospital and how I got there, expect for repeated discussions on why I went into the hospital, and how I got out and the fortunate nature of my escaping near death, and how my wife and children and my family and friends helped and wished for my recovery. I am told repeatedly on the good fortune I have had for a normal recovery and how each person involved fostered it. I feel indebted to everyone who cared for me and held my hand, especially to my wife and children who took care of me not only at the hospital but since the time I have come home. I am reminded of this every day and I am grateful for this.
It has been more than a year and I am still finding my way to be myself, and not be so dependent on others around me to attend to my day to day affairs. At this stage of my business and professional career, I know the market will be tough to find the right mix of work utilizing my expertise. I have no doubts on my own abilities while accounting for the realities of the market. Over the last few months I have tried to find a match for my abilities and what is available, and still trying to do so, while maintaining my posture on what can be really done. I am sure that as before I will successfully find work that is challenging and rewarding.
The last year also has been full of surprises for my family and me. We have always lived within our means and we continue to do so with what we have, and content with our means. Interestingly we have had some unexpected offers for help, and as my usual self will not question the intent of offer to help, and I have not done so with such offers over the past year. I have whenever I can extended help with what ever resources I had, and never expected anything in return expect kindness.
I believe that genuine help comes from kindness and nothing more. This is probably where I am finding it difficult to appreciate the extended and unwarranted offers to help my family, with a lot of catches to the help. We have met many people over the past year and while we have worked hard at my rehabilitation, and our life, it has been a testing time for us as a family. I am sure this is a reason for people wanting to help, which when real would have been a testament to kindness towards a fellow human being. We did not ask for help, but when people offered to help I have always been thoughtful in asking why they would want to do it, rather then asking them to reach into my home. It is kind of normal for people to be interested in someone else's misery, and to listen to the details of why it happened and what happened.
When you have a life changing experience, you begin to look at life much closer then what you normally do as life itself is precious, and a second chance is most often much more cherished then the first time. I am able to work and write, and I am able to also think straight about my surroundings. The most challenging times for me are ahead and are not behind me. What has happened is something I can not change, not fix, but for sure can look to do so with the future. God has his own way of holding your hand when you really need, and as long as life is bestowed on you there is reason to look forward to with conscious handling of your surroundings.
Preserving my dignity, keeping my family together and happy, working to my hearts content and writing with my old aptitude is all I want. With what we have surrounding us I am sure it will be fun to do so, and probably with much more enthusiasm then the past.
I take great care in writing this week, as there are many things of great significance have happened in the world and in our country and in our state that can be dug into over the coming weeks. First I had to get a personal note out to my reader's and also give them a bit of why my inaction for the past year. For those who held our hand during the past year we will be grateful for your support and will always be looking for returning the kindness with our best, and for those who came into our life this past year in the pretext of helping us we do appreciate the concern, and as a family we will hold together in genuine appreciation of such help.